Obituary of David B. Lenahan

HONEOYE FALLS, NY—David Bennett Lenahan passed away peacefully on Tuesday, August 27, 2024, at the age of 77. He was predeceased by his wife of 50 years, Martha Kathleen, and is survived by his three devoted sons, Michael (Kristi), Daniel (Shannon), and Matthew (Courtney), and seven cherished grandchildren: Evan, Maggie, Katherine, Emory, Tory, Emma, and Casey. Intellectual in habit, thoughtful in action, and curious in nature, he lived his entire life as a man of ideas and was able to pass his love of learning on to his children and grandchildren. Born and raised in Rochester, as the oldest of three rambunctious brothers, Dave had a nice childhood filled with friends and family. He was a talented jazz musician—a saxophonist—and played in bands throughout high school. He became an avid reader, acquired a life-long love of convertibles, and made friends whom he would stay close with for the next 60 years. He went to college in 1964 and while there married his longtime sweetheart (and fifth-grade bandmate) Martha Kathleen Unruh. After graduation from St. Lawrence University in 1968, Dave was commissioned as an officer in the U.S. Army's field artillery, and there began the great adventure of his life. For the next 15 years, he moved across Europe, Asia, and the United States, accumulating experiences he would treasure until the end of his life (and which his grandchildren could hardly believe he had done). He learned to sail on Monterey Bay, taught at West Point, oversaw tactical nuclear weapons in West Germany, and explored every inch of Europe that he could. While serving, he also earned a master's degree in finance from Boston University. He retired as a Major in 1982 and though he rarely spoke of his service, he considered it one of the most important things he ever did. After he and Martha returned to New York, Dave bought a small liquor and wine shop in Rochester. They settled in Honeoye Falls, began restoring an old house, and set about raising their kids. Their parenting roles were traditional, and while they both had their hands full, Dave's was often the less celebrated role. He went to work every single day—nights, weekends, and holidays—to build the business and support his family. He absorbed a lot of stress and worry so that his family did not have to, and always without a word of complaint. Nothing needed was ever denied, and his kids were raised happy and free of concern. He made a habit of bringing his kids to work with him, and at that little store he was able to teach big lessons about hard work, perseverance, and responsibility. In so doing, he also instilled a lot of confidence in them, for which they are forever grateful. His hard work helped launch his kids into adulthood, allowing them to start their own careers and families which, in turn, has allowed them to pay his lessons forward. Through his example, though not always perfectly or smoothly, he taught his boys how to be men and fathers in their own right. A quiet man, he was a lifelong leader—as the eldest of three brothers, an officer in the Army, the head of a family, and the owner of a small business. He never once asked someone to do something that he wasn't willing to do himself and made a point of being unostentatiously generous. While age took much of his mobility later in life, it also proved that you can't keep a good learner down. He read more voraciously and widely than ever. Instead of becoming set in his beliefs, he constantly reevaluated his thinking on issues of social justice and fairness and his beliefs evolved accordingly. Unable to travel like he once did, he instead questioned others about their background and experiences and expressed a genuine interest in other cultures. Even after he lost his wife and lived alone through the isolation of COVID, he chose not to be bitter or lonely but to become even more engaged in the world of ideas which he inhabited so comfortably. He was a thinker, through and through, and contrarian to his core; the more the crowd moved one way, the more convinced he was to move the other. This made him a savvy investor, an engaging conversationalist, and a critical reader until his very last day. He was, of course, a flawed man but also a great one. He could be difficult and stubborn and loving and generous all at the same time. He drove his kids crazy at times but also inspired in them a very genuine and loving devotion. He often insisted he was right but had a wonderful self-deprecating sense of humor when he was wrong. In short, he was human, and beautifully so. He rode life's highs, endured the lows, and was grateful for the time in between. But, most importantly to the writers of this tribute, he was our Dad. And while he learned that being a Dad is not always easy or glorious, he did it well, and proudly, and lovingly, and without complaint, until the day he died. So, although no books will be written about him, and no buildings will ever bear his name, for dedicating his life to his family, and for the example he set, he will always be a hero to us. The family will hold a private service. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating in his honor to the Honeoye Falls-Lima community that he loved so much. We suggest the Mendon Public Library or the Lima Primary School Community Food Pantry.